Creatio

Bereshit

God was fed up that’s why he created the heavens and the earth, that’s what they don’t tell ya in school. Why was the big guy so irritated? Because he had to share the primordial nothingness with the worm Azazel, that creep. God and Az argued a lot about who came first. They asked their mother but she was just “I love you both”, typical momma, no help when they were fighting it out. Eventually God couldn’t stand being coupled up with that slimy reptile like a rash or a dose of something unpleasant in the sack of nothing they uninhabited. He tried shrinking, making more room for the wriggly sibling but the other guy just wriggled more and writhed like he just couldn’t get comfortable in there until God couldn’t stand it any more and STAND BACK he said I’M GOING TO MAKE SOMETHING TO SORT THIS OUT ONCE AND FOR ALL and

Heavens 
Earth
Waters
Light 
Night 
Day
Land
Plants
Sun 
Moon
Animals
Birds

Great Sea Monsters and creepers and crawlers, and that one of his own kin took the hint, slid out from the primordial cocoon and plop fell into the immensity of that creation with a surprised giggle.

And God did breath a sigh of relief perhaps tinged with a soupçon of something else.